HELL NO! NOT IN MY KITCHEN! SPATCHCOCKING? YOU GOTTA BE JOKING!

SPATCHCOCKING..... WTF is THAT?  Yeah - that's what I said : SPATCH-COCKING (and yes - I spelled that right!)

Raise your hand if you want anything named this going on in YOUR kitchen!  LOL  Well, if it's good enough for Martha Stewart (is this something she picked up in jail?) then it's at LEAST good enough for me to try!

As an aside - I really needed to know the origin of this word - seems it's an 18th century Irish combination of 'dispatch' (fast) and 'cock' (bird).... oh - whew - I can work with THAT!  This is a FAST way to cook a chicken or turkey... ok - that's cool.

Away we go.  First, you have GOT to get a pair of OXO poultry shears!

These things are AWESOME - and OXO thinks a lot of them - they will run you $20 - $25, depending on where you get them.  But trust me on this - you could cut a BODY into small pieces with these things - absolutely necessary for separating segments of chicken wings or ribs - and SPATCHCOCKING a bird!  HAHAHAHA  They come apart for EASY cleaning, which is a 'must' I didn't know existed!

Next.... you need a bird.  I suggest starting with a chicken - cheaper and easier to handle than a turkey.

Step 1:  remove all that krap inside the bird that they cram inside in a waxed paper bag that adds to the weight of the bird.... Ditch the liver but keep the gizzard and heart for stock, along with the neck.

Step 2:  Lay the bird on a couple of folded paper towels so it won't scoot off the counter with the BREAST DOWN - and with your mighty shears, cut from the tail (that nasty looking triangle thing at the base of the spine) all the way up one side of the spine to the neck opening.  Repeat on the other side.  If that tail thing is still attached to the bird, please cut it off immediately!  (Wash the neck, organs,  and backbone and put in a medium pot and cover with water.  Continued below***)

Step 3:  Press the two sides of the bird apart as far as you can.  Using a sharp knife, make a cut on each side of the 'keel bone' - the dark oblong bone in the middle of the breast.  

Flip the bird over and spread him/her flat on the counter.  Press down strongly with the heel of your hand on the center of the breast - like you are panicking and doing CPR. You should hear a crack and feel the bones give way.

At this point (and this is truly why I LOVE spatchcocking) wash that baby under cold running water.  Clean it really well with a stiff-bristle brush, removing any bits of liver (OMG - they are always there) and other nasties left behind from processing.  Lay your bird on CLEAN paper towels and pat dry all over.  The bird should look like a modest sunbather!

At this point, assemble the few ingredients necessary:

2 TBSP         soft butter
1/4 tsp.          Ground thyme
1/4 tsp.          Garlic powder
1 tsp.              Lemon zest
                     Kosher or Sea Salt
                    Fresh ground black pepper

Line a shallow roasting pan with foil and spritz with Pam.  Preheat oven to 425° - yup -  425°

Add the ground thyme, garlic powder and lemon zest to the butter and blend totally with a fork

Place the bird BREAST DOWN on the paper towels and sprinkle generously with salt and pepper.  Flip it over and lay it in the roasting pan - breast up.

Get your CLEAN hands ikky by rubbing the butter mixture all over the skin side of the bird.  Give that chickie a total massage, including the under side of the wings and legs.  Sprinkle generously with salt and fresh pepper.

Pop in the hot oven and set a timer for 40 minutes.  Check with an instant read thermometer.  When thickest part of the thigh reaches 165°, remove from the oven and cover with foil.  Let the birdie rest (it's been through a lot!) for 15-20 minutes before serving.

NOTE:  You can also toss this bird on a hot grill and cook (indirect method) about the same length of time..... any poultry that's grilled is totally awesome!

***  Make chicken stock:  Since you have a few organs, the neck and the backbone in a pot, make stock!  Cover the pieces/parts with water by about an inch.  Add 8-10 whole peppercorns, a medium onion - chopped, and 2 of those outer ribs of WASHED celery that look like krap that you'd never EAT - and celery greens if you have any of those.  Bring to a boil, reduce to a simmer, and cook about an hour.  Strain the liquid into a clean pot and toss the chicken stuff and the veggies.  Voila - stock!  This is great for chicken soup, but I love to use this to cook rice - all you need is 2 cups of stock, a cup of (long cooking) rice and a teaspoon of salt.  Excellent with the bird!  GO FOR IT!