COLLARDS - THOSE DELICIOUS GREEN THINGS!

Collards, you say?  Hmmmm - oh yeah!  This recipe will serve 5-8 people.

Note:  If you plan to cook collards for New Year's dinner, plan ahead, because you're gonna need about a CUP of bacon grease - so that means lots of BLT's all summer!  (You can season them with 2-3 ham hocks by just covering them and boiling them for 3-4 hours - remove and use the 'water' to cook the collards in.)

First off - do not even THINK about cooking collards unless there has been a hard frost in the 'garden' of your collards supplier!  The frost makes them sweet and helps kill the insect life!

Secondly, if you have any way to cook OUTDOORS over an open flame, do it, because collards will.... ummmmm...stink up your house!

Collards are usually sold by the WHOLE plant, and you need about one of those per serving.... if you can get 'baby' plants, add 1 additional plant for every 3 servings you want to end up with - when you cook collards, THEY DISAPPEAR!

Soooo.... I started with 10 plants I got from a roadside kiosk in town.... six were what I'd call 'baby' ones and 4 were GINORMOUS!

Step 1 - pull off the leaves, check for wildlife (tiny worms which they tell me adds seasoning but which I'd rather now KNOW are in my final product!)  Wash each leaf by shaking it in a bucket of clean, cold water.

Steps 2-5:  Wash each leaf in a bucket of clean, cold water. (In the South, collards are grown in sandy soil, and there is nothing worse than gritty collards - TRUST ME!)

Head for the kitchen (finally) and fill an 8 quart (minimum) stock pot about 2/3's full of water.  Add a cup of bacon grease and 3 tablespoons of salt.  Get this on the stove on high so it will be boiling when your collards are ready.

Next - 'do the stems'.  This mean cutting the stems off at the point where the leafy part starts to form.  

Wash them AGAIN in clean cold water, just for good measure.  You'll need a really big bowl to put the leaves in as you trim them.  And to trim them, check EACH leaf.  You've already removed most of the stems, but..... if the stem with 'leafy greens' on each side is larger than a fat drinking straw, you need to clip the leaf away from the stem upwards 3-4" and then cut out just that part of the stem - this insures that the greens AND the remaining stems will get done about the same time.

Got that? (One reason I prefer baby collards is that the stems are small and you can skip the previous step)

Do this for each leaf, and put them in the big bowl.  When the water comes to a rolling boil.... begin feeding the LARGEST leaves into the pot, a few at the time.  Push them down into the water and let the water return to a boil with each addition.  Continue 'feeding' the leaves (largest to smallest) into the boiling water, pressing the leaves down as you add them.

When all the collards are in the pot and the water has come back to a hard boil, reduce the heat to medium-low (a rolling simmer) and cover.  Set your timer for 15 minutes and stir/press down the collards.  (Ed. note:  If you think collards stink when you cook 'em..... SCORTCH 'EM.... you will want to buy a new house!)

Cook the collards for 1-1/4 to 1/1/2  hours MAX , stirring and rolling the leaves over EVERY 15 MINUTES.... leaves and stems should be tender after 90 minutes.

Now for the fun part.  Dip out 2-3 C of the cooking liquid and set aside.  Drain the collards in a colander (or dip the leaves out of the water with tongs). Working in small bunches, chop the collards and put them in a 'much smaller pot'.... 

 

At this point they are basically ready for the table.  HOWEVER: If you want to freeze them (and they freeze wonderfully!), put portions in zipper bags and add a shot of the reserved cooking liquid.  If you are going to serve them later in the day, add about 3/4" of the cooking liquid to the pot and refrigerate until dinnertime.  When you re-heat them, check for salt and just REHEAT - do not cook!

REMEMBER:  The collards are DONE AND READY TO EAT.  All you need will be some baked sweet potatoes and a plate of cornbread and YOU WILL ROCK!

POTS DE CREME AU CHOCOLAT

SERVES: 4-6

INGREDIENTS:

1 C              Sugar

4 TBSP       Dry cocoa

3 TBSP       All-purpose flour

2                Egg YOLKS

1/2 C           Milk

3/4 C          Half & Half

2 TBSP       Butter (NOT margarine)

1 tsp.          Vanilla

                

DIRECTIONS:   (Make in the morning for a dinner dessert)

Sift dry ingredients into the top of a double boiler; add egg yolks and milk and half & half and stir to blend.  Cook in top of a double boiler, stirring constantly with a whisk and scraping sides and bottom to prevent sticking.  Cook until the ‘pudding’ holds it shape when dropped from a spoon or swirled in the pot – be patient – this takes about 11-12 minutes once the water begins to boil.

When thickened, remove from heat and add butter and vanilla.  Blend well and pour into individual serving cups.  Chill completely.  Serve with a dollop of whipped cream with an Andes mint in the top, or top with crushed almonds and a squirt of caramel syrup.  Use your imagination.

My cups hold 4 ounces of liquid to the rim – this recipe makes 5 – 3 oz. (as shown in the picture) servings or 6 smaller servings.

By the way - this makes a divine chocolate pie.  Preheat oven to 350°
 Pour chocolate pudding in a pre-baked pie shell.  Top with a meringue made with

2               Egg whites

1/4 tsp.     Cream of Tartar

1/4 C        Sugar

Combine and beat until stiff peaks form.  Spread over the warm pie filling, sealing around the edges - and bake until golden brown - about 12-15 minutes.  Cool completely before serving!

JALAPENO POPPERS - QUICK AND EASY

For each WHOLE jalapeno pepper, you need about an ounce of cream cheese (Philly Original) and an equal amount of grated sharp Cheddar cheese, and 1/2 of a strip of REGULAR CUT bacon (the thick takes too long to cook)

Wash and dry the peppers. Trim the stems, leaving about 1/2" in place.  Cut peppers in half lengthwise, also splitting the stem if you can, and use a spoon to gently remove the seeds and the webbing.  Here's a picture with all the proper names - I just remove all the stuff inside.

http://jalapenomadness.com/about_the_jalapeno-anatomy.html#.VaOmEvlVi

Preheat oven to 400°.  Line a rimmed baking sheet with foil and place a rack on top. Arrange the peppers on the rack so they aren't touching.  

Spread the cream cheese in a dinner plate and top with the grated cheddar (cheeses actually work better chilled for this) and mash well with a fork to blend.  Divide cheese mixture equally, making one 'blob' per pepper HALF.  Roll each section of cheese into a ball - and then into a finger shape.  Gently press into the pepper half.  Wrap each pepper half with half a strip of bacon, folding the bacon underneath the pepper and skewer with a toothpick.  (if you have a rack, no need for a toothpick)

Bake 15-20 minutes until bacon is crisp.  Let cool about 5 minutes before serving.

Enjoy!

SQUASH - IT'S THAT TIME OF YEAR!

Yup - it's the time of year when even you dear friends may hide from you if they see you coming bringing squash..... and in small towns over the South, people are now locking their cars so no one will leave squash on the front seat!

My problem is..... I need more neighbors, or a husband that eats squash, because it's growing faster than I can get rid of it, and as I'm NOT one to waste.... I'm freezing it!

If you're blessed to have a source of fresh summer squash..... try some of my favorite recipes.  Actually they aren't all that original - just ways my mom cooked it when we had a garden.  All you have to remember is the Squash Foursome is:  squash, S&P, onions, and cayenne (well maybe that's technically a five-some)

The simplest way..... is to just boil small squash WHOLE... ones about as round as a silver dollar (do we still HAVE those?) and about 4-5 inches long.  Snip off both ends and boil in salt water until fork tender - not mushy.  Split down the middle, add salt and pepper and a big dollop of butter.... and enjoy!

Another easy way to prepare squash is to snip the ends and then slice into discs about 1/4" - 1/2" thick and put in a heavy saucepan.  Add a medium onion, peeled and also cut into discs.  Add a shake or two of kosher salt, pepper, and about a tablespoon of butter, and just enough water to ALMOST wet the bottom of the pan.  Bring to a simmer and cover; reduce the heat to low and cook until tender, stirring every 5-10 minutes.  The salt SHOULD draw liquid out of the squash and onions, but if the pot gets dry, add a little more water.  Cook until tender, 15-18 minutes, depending on thickness of the squash.

My favorite 'easy' prep is to saute the squash with onions (Can you tell I LOVE SQUASH COOKED WITH ONIONS?)  In a heavy pan or wok, melt a tablespoon of butter with 1-2 tablespoons of vegetable oil.  While that's heating up, wash dry and slice the squash into  discs about 1/4" thick.  Do the same for a medium onion, and separate the rings.  Add to the pan, sprinkle with kosher salt, fresh ground black pepper, and a SHAKE OR TWO OF ground CAYENNE.  Cook over medium high heat until squash is lightly browned and onions are soft.  Nobody eats just one of these!

Sauteed Squash

Moving right along.....

Fried squash patties are delicious and not at all difficult.  You'll need about 3 C of grated squash -- only grate the solid outer part - avoid grating the centers where the seeds are.  Whiz a medium onion in a food processor and add to the squash.  Add an egg and a few shakes of kosher salt and fresh ground pepper and a couple of shakes of..... you got it!  GROUND CAYENNE PEPPER.  THICKEN with equal parts flour and Ritz cracker crumbs to the consistency of a 'batter' that will drop from a soup spoon but hold its shape.  (Practice dropping a few on waxed paper before cooking them.  I like mine about 2" wide when dropped, and after flipping, they are about 3" in diameter.)  Add enough oil to a heavy frying pan to just barely cover the bottom.  Drop patties into the hot oil without crowding them....peek to see when they are golden brown - and then flip to brown the other side.  Drain on paper towels before serving.

I have two recipes for squash casserole - one with and one without cheese...

 SQUASH CASSEROLE (no cheese)

SERVES: 4-6

INGREDIENTS:

2 C             cooked, drained squash

1                 egg

1 small       onion - finely chopped

1 TBSP       parsley flakes

1 tsp.          hot sauce (more if desired)

8 oz.           sour cream (optional but makes the casserole creamy)

20              Ritz crackers

1/2    stick  butter (or margarine, if you must ) - melted              

DIRECTIONS:

Preheat oven to 350°

Wash and dry squash and cut into discs.  Cook in boiling, salted water until fork-tender.  Drain well and let cool to room temperature (or you’ll cook the egg!).

Combine squash and next  five ingredients in a small casserole dish.  Crush crackers and mix with melted butter and spread over top of squash.  Bake 30-40 minutes.  Let sit about 10 minutes.

* * * *

SQUASH CASSEROLE (with cheese)

SERVES: 8-12

INGREDIENTS:

3 lbs.          small yellow squash

2 C             onions – chopped and divided

1 C             water

                  Salt and fresh ground pepper
3-4 shakes of cayenne pepper

1 stick        butter

2 tsp.         sugar

2                large eggs

1/2 C          cream

4 oz.           Grated Cheddar cheese

1 stack       Ritz crackers - crushed         

DIRECTIONS:

Rinse squash.  Remove the stem and blossom ends and slice crosswise into 1” discs.  Add to a pot with 1 C water and 1 C chopped onions.  Season with salt and pepper.  Bring to a boil and simmer until just fork tender – about 15 minutes.  Drain liquid and set pot aside.

In another pot, add butter and melt over medium heat.  Reduce heat and add remaining cup of onions.  Cook 4-5 minutes, stirring often.  Add drained squash and onions to this pot.  Add sugar, and cook 1-2 minutes until water evaporates.  Remove pot from heat.  Add cayenne.

Whisk cream and eggs until smooth.  Add to the cooked squash and stir gently to blend.  Add additional salt and pepper to taste.

Preheat oven to 350°

Butter a 9 x 13 baking dish.  Spoon the squash into the dish.  Add salt and fresh ground black pepper to taste.  Sprinkle with grated cheese and top with crumbled crackers.  Bake until casserole bubbles around the edges and the cracker crumbs are lightly toasted – about 30-40 minutes.

Let rest 10 minutes before serving.

AND WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS......

Freeze the darn things!

Bring a large pot (like a Dutch oven) of water to a hard rolling boil.  Add squash that has been washed, ends snipped, and sliced into discs 1/4" - 1/2" thick.  Bring back to a hard boil and remove from the heat.  Let squash sit for 2 minutes - then drain and let it cool.  (I drain in a large colander and then put the colander back over the pot and set both under the kitchen ceiling fan for about 20 minutes.)  When cooled enough to handle, ladle about 2 cups of squash into quart Ziploc FREEZER bags.  Express as much air as possible and seal.  'Flatten' the bag gently - this helps make them stackable.  Arrange on a metal tray and freeze quickly.

Voila!  Squash all year!

STRAWBERRIES! IT'S THAT TIME OF YEAR!

Long day.... but totally worth the effort!  Will post the recipe if the jam gets thick... was trying something new!

BEFORE

AFTER!

And the MORNING after..... the stuff didn't 'gel' - it's runny - perfect topping for ice cream - I tried a recipe with NOT pectin added..... very disappointed.  It DID firm up some in the fridge overnight, and it was spreadable on toast - and delicious.... just don't tilt the toast!  Oh well..... maybe next time.  (The strawberry shortcake was to die for!)

ZOJIRUSHI BREAD MACHINE EGG BREAD

This is a rich, sweet dense bread that makes a beautiful golden loaf in my machine.....

YIELD:  1 LOAF – 1.5 LBS.

INGREDIENTS:

4 TBSP          unsalted butter

1/4 C              granulated sugar

2/3 C            Half & half

2                  extra-large eggs - beaten

1 -1/2 tsp.     salt

3 C               bread flour

2 -1/2 tsp.     Rapid Rise yeast AT ROOM TEMPERATURE

DIRECTIONS:

Have all ingredients to room temperature.

Cut butter into 2 pieces and locate in bread machine pan over paddles.  Sprinkle sugar in the bottom of the bread pan

Combine half & half, eggs and salt and blend with a fork; pour into bread pan (These steps can be done ahead of time)

When ready to cook, add flour evenly over liquids.  Make a groove in the top of the flour and add the yeast.  Close the lid.

Select QUICK course and DARK crust and press start.

Remove the baked loaf from the pan; cool on a wire rack 15-20 minutes before slicing - and enjoy!

SALT 101

And you thought salt was just....... salt!

TABLE SALT 

This is the granddaddy of salt.  Table salt, also known as common salt, consists of tiny, uniformly shaped crystals created during rapid vacuum evaporation. It usually includes anti-caking agents that help it pour smoothly. (When it rains, it POURS!)

How We Use It: Fine-grain table salt dissolves easily, making it our go-to for most applications, both sweet and savory.

To optimize flavor, avoid iodized salt, which can impart a subtle chemical taste that is detectable by some consumers.

KOSHER SALT

Coarse-grain kosher salt is typically flaky crystals, originally used for koshering meat. Not all kosher salts are created equal.  Diamond Crystal kosher salt is one that features multi-faceted crystals that cling well to food, the only one of its kind in the United States.   Also, unlike most other kosher salts, this one has no additives. The most common Kosher salts are made by Diamond and Morton - and the 'saltiness' of these two varies.

How We Use It: Kosher salt is a top choice for seasoning meat. The large grains distribute easily and cling well to the meat's surfaces.

The crystal sizes of kosher salt differ considerably, and this makes a difference when measuring by volume. If you use kosher salt in recipes calling for a measured amount, remember you will need more Kosher salt than regular, old table salt -  and this amount varies by brand!

SEA SALT/FLAKY SEA SALT

Sea salt is the product of seawater evaporation--a time-consuming, expensive process that yields irregularly shaped, mineral-rich flakes that vary widely in color but only slightly in flavor.

How We Use It: Don't bother cooking with pricey sea salt; we've found that when mixed into food, it doesn't taste any different from table salt. Instead, we use it as a "finishing salt," where its delicate crunch stands out.

Sold as fine, coarse, and flaky.   I use coarse sea salt for boiling shrimp.

FLEUR DE SEL

Fleur de sel literally means "Flower of Salt" in French, and many classic fleur de sels are produced in regions of France - Guérande, Camargue, Noirmoutier, and I'ile de Ré. But the label 'fleur de sel' describes the way the salt is made and the qualtiies it possesses. Fleur de sel is a solar evaporated sea, lake, or spring salt with fine, irregular, moist, mineral-rich crystals made by raking the crystals that blossom on the surface of a crystallizing pan. Today, fine fleur de sel is made in countries around the world.

How we use it: SPARINGLY!  A special-occasion table salt. Spoon it into a salt cellar to be pinched, then sprinkled over food just before eating. Delicately flavored, it adds a perfect hint of saltiness to freshly sliced tomato or melon.

Comes from the coastal salt ponds in France. The caviar of sea salt, fleur de sel is hand harvested. Conditions have to be just right (lots of sun and wind) for it to "bloom" like a flower on the surface of the water.  The texture is crystalline, which means that fleur de sel melts slowly in the mouth. Its earthy, pleasing flavor lingers on the tongue.  Prepare to pay dearly for this salt!

HIMALAYAN SALT

Himalayan salt is pure, hand-mined salt found naturally, deep within the pristine Himalayan Mountains. Crystallized over 250 million years ago, ancient sea beds were covered by lava, protecting the salt from modern-day pollution, and lending to the belief that Himalayan Pink salt is the purest salt to be found on earth.  Use it liberally in pickling brines, or try your hand at salt-roasting fish or chicken for a moist and flavorful result.

Himalayan pink salt tends to have an ever-so-slightly floral (similar to lavender) taste if you stick a small piece in your mouth.  They don’t give THIS one away, either.

From a culinary perspective "Himalayan Pink Salt" and Coarse Sea Salt are about the same. Himalayan salt is mined from the Himalayan mountains;  coarse salt is typically derived from evaporation. Coarser grains are better from marinating while the finer grains typically found in Himalayan salt make it better for finishing. There are some small trace mineral differences, but they are not very distinct taste wise.

Containing all of the 84 elements found in your body, the benefits of natural Himalayan Crystal Salt include:

Regulating the water content throughout your body

Promoting healthy pH balance in your cells, particularly your brain cells

Promoting blood sugar health and helping to reduce the signs of aging

Assisting in the generation of hydroelectric energy in cells in your body

Absorption of food particles through your intestinal tract

Supporting respiratory health

Promoting sinus health

Prevention of muscle cramps

Promoting bone strength

Regulating your sleep -- it naturally promotes sleep

Supporting your libido

Promoting vascular health

In conjunction with water, it is actually essential for the regulation of your blood pressure

PICKLING SALT

How we use it: Brining pickles and sauerkraut. It will also brine a turkey, but beware: Pickling salt is far more concentrated than the more commonly used kosher salt, so you'll need to use less.

Like table salt, pickling salt may come from the earth or the sea. But unlike table salt, it isn't fortified with iodine (a nutritional need for humans) and doesn't contain anticaking chemicals, both of which would turn pickles an unappetizing color. Virtually 100 percent sodium chloride, it's the purest of salts.  This variety is fine grained, like table salt.

ROCK SALT

How we use it: Making ice cream and de-icing (tho the granules are quite large, hence the name ‘rock’). Rock salt is paired with ice in old-fashioned hand-cranked ice cream makers to regulate the temperature. You can also use it to de-ice your sidewalks and driveway in the winter months. (yes – there were once ice cream makers you had to crank by hand!)

Mined from deposits in the earth, rock salt is not sold for use directly on food. It's usually packaged in an organic, unprocessed form.  Rock salt is composed of large, chunky, non-uniform crystals. Minerals and other harmless impurities can give it a grayish color.

YEAST TERMINOLOGY

Active Dry Yeast is the most commonly available form for home bakers. The yeast is dormant, needs to be "proofed" and re-hydrated before using.  Active Dry Yeast comes in individual packages and in jars. It can be used for all purpose baking (e.g. rolls, pizza dough)

To proof yeast, sprinkle the yeast over warm water (105-115 degrees F) and a pinch of sugar, and let it stand for 10 minutes until creamy and bubbly.  Note:  When using this yeast in most bread machines, the proofing is part of the baking process.  Follow directions for YOUR machine.

Dry yeast should be stored in a cool dry place; but do not use it after the expiration date on the package. Store open containers in the refrigerator.  Always let the portion of yeast you plan to use come to room temperature before using it!

This is the yeast used in the ‘REGULAR course’ for Zojirushi machines – approximately 3:25 cooking time.

Rapid Rise Yeast is instant yeast that may include ascorbic acid, a dough conditioner.  This yeast can be added DRY to a recipe.  This yeast can also be bought as Bread Machine Yeast and Instant Yeast. (Fleishmann's Bread Machine Yeast says 'Rapid Rise' on the lower right corner of the jar label)

Again, store the yeast in a cool dry place, or in the refrigerator once the package or jar has been opened. Do not use yeast after the expiration date.  Also again - let the portion of yeast you plan to use come to room temperature before using it!

This is the yeast used in the ‘QUICK course’ for Zojirushi machines.

Approximately 2:25 cooking time.

COOKING WITH GARLIC

I'm not the best cook in town, but I DO know this..... you don't smash cloves of garlic with the flat side of a Santoku knife!  Seriously!  I've seen Rachael Ray and Gina DeLaurentis do this and it's total bullshit!

I've used their method and ended up with a bruise on the side of my hand.  If you want to smash garlic to    1) - pop off the skin and 2 )- chop it to use in a recipe - SMASH IT WITH THE FLAT SIDE OF A MEAT MALLET!  OMG - just gently pound the cloves, pull off the dry skin, and you're good to go - Hell with slamming your hand on the flat side of a knife.

That's my method and I'm sticking to it!

SAUTE'D MUSHROOOMS

This is wonderful on steak, especially a pan-seared filet

SERVES: 4

INGREDIENTS:

8                Fresh white mushrooms, wiped clean and sliced

1 small        Onion, peeled and very thinly sliced

2 TBSP       Butter

8 oz.           Good red wine

2                 Beef bouillon cubes

                   Salt and fresh ground pepper to taste

                

DIRECTIONS:

In a small skillet, melt butter over medium heat.  Sauté onions and mushrooms 4-5 minutes until tender.  Remove from skillet to a bowl and set aside. 

Add wine and bouillon cubes to skillet – press cubes with back of a spoon and stir until dissolved - cook over medium/low heat until wine is reduced by half, stirring occasionally to make sure bouillon has dissolved.  Return onions/mushrooms and any juices to skillet and cook about a minute.  Season to taste with salt and pepper.

Spoon over steak or roast beef.